I Will Take Marriage Blunders For $1000

We have so much going on that it seems "us" is taking a back seat to everything else.  I did not realize it till I could not answer if someone asked me the last time I kissed my husband.  I know he feels just as disconnected as me but never complains.

I know moving is stressful and while we have one house under contract and we are living in another it feels like we are straddling two lives.  I know we are blessed that our house is under contract and for that I am thankful but I can not wait till closing and the day we get to just concentrate on the here and now.

Yesterday was the first day I felt like I had a normal life of just playing with B, taking care of chores and just living.  Rather than unpacking, calling this utility or that, turning this on and that off or whatever.  I have been happy and loving the area but just ready to live here.

Hubby is stressed too.  He finally was able to talk about it this weekend.  With work causing stresses and the other house I think he is a typical male in his want to just fix and finish things.  He is so laid back and quiet that when he breaks it takes alot. 

I know we are not the only couple going through things and I know that moving anywhere is a huge stress but I forgot how much my marriage could get lost in the hustle and bustle.  I have decided I was going to be conscious of some things till a little more is off our plates. 

I am a yeller so that is something I am working on.  I think I yell because I have such a high voice that I seem to think the only way to get through to people or sound stern is by yelling.  I am also trying to let go in the morning.  He always cuts it close to make it to work on time and holy cow does it drive me NUTS!  But I am purposely not saying anything as frankly it does nothing for the situation at the time.

I think I could also make an effort to cuddle and connect as we get through this period of transition.  He seems to be doing the same thing with me he is asking if he needs to take a day off to help me or if he can do anything else in regards to my chores. 

It is hard to write all this and document all this but frankly I read many blogs and I think a lot of them do not touch on the difficulty of marriage.  I know it can be a privacy issue but for me it is an issue of knowing I am not alone in the moments that it feels like I am.  The moments where I stare out the window and think I am sure the couple across the street didn't disconnect when they moved in, its us only us!

I heard the other day that men need to be told exactly what you are feeling, thinking or what you want them to do.  I think that is true being that it was not till I stopped snapping and started talking that we were able to communicate and figure out that we needed to support each other through all of this. 

Marriage has never been easy and I am sure it never will be.  But even though we are worlds apart right now I am glad we are both seeing the errors in our ways and that we miss each other.  Disconnect is probably one emotion I would rather not feel.  At the same time I am thankful for the reminder that I am not alone in all this.

Throw It All In

My hubby is on second shift right now which means dinner usually gets made before he leaves and we both heat it up whenever we are ready.  I just don't feel good about me getting fresh and giving him leftovers the next day.  Anyway, the other day I realized I had 30 minutes to get dinner done and very little in the fridge.

I knew I had hamburger and everything else to make sloppy joes my mom's way as I call it with spices and tomato sauce.  As I was pouring in the sauce I remembered that hubby thought they were bland last time.  He is more  of a mamwich guy.  So I grabbed mustard, bbque sauce, some other spices and just threw them all in.  It was kind of funny but I kept tasting as I went and thought hmmm this is not half bad.  I knew I could not tell him all that was in it or he wouldn't eat it and it got me thinking about how our marriage works. 

I kind of just throw everything in and he deals.  And by deals I mean he will either help me make something amazing with it all or he will help me sort it out throw it all away and move on.  He is pretty amazing like that.  I think that this method is how we landed where we are now and how we are reaching for the stars. 

I am a throw it all in girl while he is a I will try a little here and a little there maybe wait till next time.  We balance each other out. He is also the one who will totally lie when I have thrown too much in or when frankly all that I have thrown in is crazy.  Lie might be a strong word he will fib a reaction till I look at his face and read it for exactly what he is thinking. 

Grateful for his patience and understanding is an understatement!  He will tell you that when we got together I warned him of this and many other nuances I have such as tasting his food every time he orders something different than me.  But to me warning or not he loves me and all my "throw it all in"!

Needless to say I got a call about 7:30 that night asking what was in dinner.  That he was hungry and had a sandwich and a half but can I please not make that again!  He even reminded me of that one time I thought I overspiced and didn't, this time I did!  And he so busted that there was mustard in it.  Which he does not like.  Just as I was saying sorry he had moved on to the next thing while I was still stuck wondering if it was really that bad!