We have so much going on that it seems "us" is taking a back seat to everything else. I did not realize it till I could not answer if someone asked me the last time I kissed my husband. I know he feels just as disconnected as me but never complains.
I know moving is stressful and while we have one house under contract and we are living in another it feels like we are straddling two lives. I know we are blessed that our house is under contract and for that I am thankful but I can not wait till closing and the day we get to just concentrate on the here and now.
Yesterday was the first day I felt like I had a normal life of just playing with B, taking care of chores and just living. Rather than unpacking, calling this utility or that, turning this on and that off or whatever. I have been happy and loving the area but just ready to live here.
Hubby is stressed too. He finally was able to talk about it this weekend. With work causing stresses and the other house I think he is a typical male in his want to just fix and finish things. He is so laid back and quiet that when he breaks it takes alot.
I know we are not the only couple going through things and I know that moving anywhere is a huge stress but I forgot how much my marriage could get lost in the hustle and bustle. I have decided I was going to be conscious of some things till a little more is off our plates.
I am a yeller so that is something I am working on. I think I yell because I have such a high voice that I seem to think the only way to get through to people or sound stern is by yelling. I am also trying to let go in the morning. He always cuts it close to make it to work on time and holy cow does it drive me NUTS! But I am purposely not saying anything as frankly it does nothing for the situation at the time.
I think I could also make an effort to cuddle and connect as we get through this period of transition. He seems to be doing the same thing with me he is asking if he needs to take a day off to help me or if he can do anything else in regards to my chores.
It is hard to write all this and document all this but frankly I read many blogs and I think a lot of them do not touch on the difficulty of marriage. I know it can be a privacy issue but for me it is an issue of knowing I am not alone in the moments that it feels like I am. The moments where I stare out the window and think I am sure the couple across the street didn't disconnect when they moved in, its us only us!
I heard the other day that men need to be told exactly what you are feeling, thinking or what you want them to do. I think that is true being that it was not till I stopped snapping and started talking that we were able to communicate and figure out that we needed to support each other through all of this.
Marriage has never been easy and I am sure it never will be. But even though we are worlds apart right now I am glad we are both seeing the errors in our ways and that we miss each other. Disconnect is probably one emotion I would rather not feel. At the same time I am thankful for the reminder that I am not alone in all this.
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Finally Here
We have been at our new house a week and a half and so far so good. While the move went smoothly the emotions have been up and down. It is always hard to get used to a new space and town and throw in changing routines and hubbys promotion and it all just seems to blend together.
I am so over cleaning and organizing but truth be told we still have two rooms to finish. In the moments I want to pull my hair out I have found solace in the quietness and serenity that this house brought with it. I now look forward to sitting down at the computer not just using the laptop as it sits in front of a window that I get to open and just breathe it all in. The challenges have been in the yard as well as the differences between the homes.
We have painted and cleaned and painted and cleaned just to make sure that we truly feel at home here while the days are long it was worth it on our first weekend here. We got to go to a local festival and become part of the community. It was a well needed reminder on why we wanted to move here in the first place.
It is funny I keep getting told that this is no longer a small town but let me tell you compared to the suburbs of Orlando I would say we are in BFE. One of my favorite things is the attention B gets. We can not go anywhere without a smile or hello and that makes me feel like B will know a kinder type of humanity than the hustle and bustle that cities are well known for.
The acreage is slightly intimidating but without a doubt has been wonderful. We do not go a single day without heading outside and grunging it up. I am not sure I will ever know true cleanliness again but I have enjoyed every minute of it. B loves not having us right behind him as he runs and plays and climbs. His face has said it all over the last week. The smiles are plentiful and there is a contentment I have never known in him.
We are still working through the bumps and I want to record more specifics for our memories later but for now I have to go get a little more done so we can just finally enjoy the day to day in our new home!
I am so over cleaning and organizing but truth be told we still have two rooms to finish. In the moments I want to pull my hair out I have found solace in the quietness and serenity that this house brought with it. I now look forward to sitting down at the computer not just using the laptop as it sits in front of a window that I get to open and just breathe it all in. The challenges have been in the yard as well as the differences between the homes.
We have painted and cleaned and painted and cleaned just to make sure that we truly feel at home here while the days are long it was worth it on our first weekend here. We got to go to a local festival and become part of the community. It was a well needed reminder on why we wanted to move here in the first place.
It is funny I keep getting told that this is no longer a small town but let me tell you compared to the suburbs of Orlando I would say we are in BFE. One of my favorite things is the attention B gets. We can not go anywhere without a smile or hello and that makes me feel like B will know a kinder type of humanity than the hustle and bustle that cities are well known for.
The acreage is slightly intimidating but without a doubt has been wonderful. We do not go a single day without heading outside and grunging it up. I am not sure I will ever know true cleanliness again but I have enjoyed every minute of it. B loves not having us right behind him as he runs and plays and climbs. His face has said it all over the last week. The smiles are plentiful and there is a contentment I have never known in him.
We are still working through the bumps and I want to record more specifics for our memories later but for now I have to go get a little more done so we can just finally enjoy the day to day in our new home!
Friday, January 6, 2012
So Scared
Two nights from now I will be back in bed in this house after spending the day in the new house we are moving to and I am scared to death. Excited but scared to death. I know I sound like a big fat baby but I never claimed to do well with change. I have always been a runner I am good at it, what I mean, I do not dump you I just stop taking your calls, I do not quit I just don't show up, see what I mean I do not like to plan out big things. My day yes, but big things, no.
The house we are in now is wonderful it is bigger than we need, has custom cabinets, granite counter tops, custom baths, a pool, is in the suburbs and so on but we are leaving it. And for a home that is much different. We are trading in the pool for 2.5 acres, switching up the floor plan, losing some of the upgrades and even saying goodbye to the suburbs. While I am thrilled and it is a dream I am scared to death.
We did not make this decision lightly but still I wonder do we really know what we are in for. I do, I guess, I grew up in a small town and I know it is going to be hard at first but once you are in you are in so to speak. I wonder will I miss the pool we never used. Or will I miss the custom tile as I am in the bathroom of the new house. I think it is fair to expect that at times I will miss this home but the one we are moving to is just the one that is meant for us right now.
Luckily we are able to rent before we purchase the owners are even open to allowing us to rent for a few years to make sure we like the area and the home etc. What I love most is this has been a team effort. With this home I saw it picked it and called hubby to come see it. He said he liked and bam we were under contract. See being in Real Estate I am sure I saw all the inventory before I even knew we were house shopping. This home may have us and have a little paint but none of it was done by us. This is what is so appealing about the new house.
The new house has just enough updating to make it updated but not so much that we can't get what we want when we are ready to purchase. I would be able to get my dream kitchen and hubby his media room and so much more. We can get animals or even put in a pool that is in our taste and we are just so tickled about it. I truly am thrilled to hear hubby talk about it and shop for a riding lawn mower he is more excited than I ever anticipated.
For someone who grew up with a single mom renting small homes in a mountain town in Colorado calling many laundry rooms her bedroom, yep, I said laundry rooms! I find it quite silly that I would be wondering will I miss my granite counter tops or my stainless steel appliances! Oh how I know we are so blessed to have a home and a roof over our head. I am also so blessed that we are listening to the Lord and our intuition on this one and know that it is by far the best decision for so many reasons.
Doesn't make it any less scary though!
The house we are in now is wonderful it is bigger than we need, has custom cabinets, granite counter tops, custom baths, a pool, is in the suburbs and so on but we are leaving it. And for a home that is much different. We are trading in the pool for 2.5 acres, switching up the floor plan, losing some of the upgrades and even saying goodbye to the suburbs. While I am thrilled and it is a dream I am scared to death.
We did not make this decision lightly but still I wonder do we really know what we are in for. I do, I guess, I grew up in a small town and I know it is going to be hard at first but once you are in you are in so to speak. I wonder will I miss the pool we never used. Or will I miss the custom tile as I am in the bathroom of the new house. I think it is fair to expect that at times I will miss this home but the one we are moving to is just the one that is meant for us right now.
Luckily we are able to rent before we purchase the owners are even open to allowing us to rent for a few years to make sure we like the area and the home etc. What I love most is this has been a team effort. With this home I saw it picked it and called hubby to come see it. He said he liked and bam we were under contract. See being in Real Estate I am sure I saw all the inventory before I even knew we were house shopping. This home may have us and have a little paint but none of it was done by us. This is what is so appealing about the new house.
The new house has just enough updating to make it updated but not so much that we can't get what we want when we are ready to purchase. I would be able to get my dream kitchen and hubby his media room and so much more. We can get animals or even put in a pool that is in our taste and we are just so tickled about it. I truly am thrilled to hear hubby talk about it and shop for a riding lawn mower he is more excited than I ever anticipated.
For someone who grew up with a single mom renting small homes in a mountain town in Colorado calling many laundry rooms her bedroom, yep, I said laundry rooms! I find it quite silly that I would be wondering will I miss my granite counter tops or my stainless steel appliances! Oh how I know we are so blessed to have a home and a roof over our head. I am also so blessed that we are listening to the Lord and our intuition on this one and know that it is by far the best decision for so many reasons.
Doesn't make it any less scary though!
Monday, December 5, 2011
I Thought I Knew But Now I Really Know
As I reached up put my foot in the stirrup and threw my right leg over the saddle I had a rush of familiarity. I knew that I had felt something was missing for years and in that moment on the horse I just knew we were making the right decision.
Two years ago we bought a home that I imagined I would be raising my family in but even when we signed the papers I just was not sure. Don't get me wrong I loved the home and the finishes etc. but I did not have the butterflies or rush that most first time buyers or really any buyers talked about. I figured it was just emotions and feeling overwhelmed so I signed and moved in. But after having B and really talking it out with hubby we are in agreement it is time to go.
I grew up in a small town and no matter how much I hated it as a teenager I have missed it since I left. I have searched state by state looking for a small town with small schools and even those infamous nosy people that the towns are known for. I had a list of towns near my husbands branches of his company but he just never seemed on board. Well that was until I found a small town just up the turnpike from where we are now.
It is that town that you drive through and almost miss or that you stop for lunch in and think I could live here. We are going from your stereotypical FL home with a pool and palm trees to a 2.5 acre property with trees and backing a National Forest. As of right now I would say we are 98% in, the other 2% is filled with fear and emotions and questions of is this right. But at this moment we are moving toward the ultimate goal.
I rode Snow the horse around for less than 20 minutes that afternoon as I was nervous that I was loving it too much. Hubby and B watched from the fence line. As I could hear B's screams in the distance I took a few deep breaths knowing that we are in this as a family and that no matter how scary this all gets we are a team. I made my way through the trees guiding her back to her next rider all while keeping my eyes my family. I knew in that moment that for the first time in a long time all felt right with my world.
Two years ago we bought a home that I imagined I would be raising my family in but even when we signed the papers I just was not sure. Don't get me wrong I loved the home and the finishes etc. but I did not have the butterflies or rush that most first time buyers or really any buyers talked about. I figured it was just emotions and feeling overwhelmed so I signed and moved in. But after having B and really talking it out with hubby we are in agreement it is time to go.
I grew up in a small town and no matter how much I hated it as a teenager I have missed it since I left. I have searched state by state looking for a small town with small schools and even those infamous nosy people that the towns are known for. I had a list of towns near my husbands branches of his company but he just never seemed on board. Well that was until I found a small town just up the turnpike from where we are now.
It is that town that you drive through and almost miss or that you stop for lunch in and think I could live here. We are going from your stereotypical FL home with a pool and palm trees to a 2.5 acre property with trees and backing a National Forest. As of right now I would say we are 98% in, the other 2% is filled with fear and emotions and questions of is this right. But at this moment we are moving toward the ultimate goal.
I rode Snow the horse around for less than 20 minutes that afternoon as I was nervous that I was loving it too much. Hubby and B watched from the fence line. As I could hear B's screams in the distance I took a few deep breaths knowing that we are in this as a family and that no matter how scary this all gets we are a team. I made my way through the trees guiding her back to her next rider all while keeping my eyes my family. I knew in that moment that for the first time in a long time all felt right with my world.
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