Another Shot

The thing about parenting is you get to have another go at it if you have more than one child.  With B I wanted to do so many things that did not happen. 

 I wanted to breast feed heck I though I was till he was losing weight and after many consultations with an LC and nurses and frankly Dr's it was determined he could not deep suck and I was not producing much.  I wanted to cloth diaper or at least do inserts but my precious baby had one sensitive bootie and penis because he screamed anytime they were on till I took them off.  I was going to do attachment parenting but we just didn't make it out enough to worry about it.  And he slept through the night at 8 weeks so all that drama was avoided.

Cosleeping really never crossed my mind as my husband sleeps so sound I am not sure if it would be our safest option.  Plus I am so intent on knowing what is going on I would probably not sleep at all as I would be counting his breaths etc. 

I did not know about BLW thus it was not an option but I do think it makes a lot of sense looking back.  And I do plan on trying it with #2.

I have friends who had the opportunity to do all these things with their baby and still are doing them and I am sometimes green with envy but other times I am grateful I just rolled with the punches as if I hadn't the challenges would have been that much greater. 

I have learned a ton just moving and being alone with my thoughts and influences.  I realized society plays a huge roll on how and when I gave up on certain tasks with B.  While I do not think he turned out any different with the choices we made I am so grateful to be part of a community now that supports and teaches each other.  This way when I have the issues that will surely arise I will know how to deal with them and maybe with a little less roll over and take it attitude.

Our household is slowly turning into a less toys more imagination.  Less new more vintage, used or just flat out antique.  Worries of baths and bacteria have been replaced with no shoes and splashing in puddles.  We have always done organic but the needs and wants of our whole family has changed.  That's not to say we don't make a run to Checkers every now and then.

I like that my style has changed with B and I love that I am inspired by some new lovely ladies who do things very different than I ever thought I would but actually love.  And mostly I love that they all accept us as we are!  I was nervous to ask opinions or tell my story or even to post my family photo to them but no one batted an eyelash!

With #2 things will be very different as they already are with B.  I am excited for when the day comes that we will announce the baby, how we will approach the pregnancy, the birth, the newborn stage and so on.  I guess in some ways I see it as a do over or another shot but all in all it just means....

They teach us as much as we teach them.

"No" Etiquette

The other day I was at the playground with B, there was one other little boy and his grandpa.  The boys played together well.  The other one was a little older so as B warmed up to him he became his shadow.  They climbed stairs, crawled tunnels and dived down the slides.  It was wonderful to seem him interact.

Just as the other little boy was getting more comfortable with B I was getting more uncomfortable.  The little boy was very touchy feely.  Nothing funny just pulling B down or climbing on him if he fell or tripped.  This is all new to me as B is the only boy right now and none of his play dates have consisted of this.  I just let it go and really did not worry about it.

Just as I was finally realizing that I may need to relax a bit the little boy growled and stomped at B.  Don't get me wrong he stomped lightly but did put his foot right on B's diaper in his crotch area.  My immediate reaction was to tell the boy no.  I was not stern nor loud.  I just simply told him No he can not do that as B is not used to playing like that and could end up hurt or scared.

His grandpa was wonderful and pulled him away and in that moment I realized I am not sure if I did the right thing or overstepped my boundaries.  It happened one more time and I again told the little boy no and explained why.  His grandfather mimicked my words and told him that B was not his little brother and he could not do that.

Everything ended up fine but I have since wondered did I do something wrong in that situation.  I mean I do not want to be "that" mom at the playground!  I just did not like how close B was to getting hurt and not by accident or because he is just a little guy but because he does not know how to play like rough like that.  I mean his Dad is more protective than me and has yet to show him wrestling or rough housing.

Maybe I should have waited for the grandfather to tell his grandson no or maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and pulled B away.  Or heck maybe I should have just let them be.  I mean we do hope for other kids and I know they will rough house and play and climb and growl and stomp.

I was totally prepared for the typical challenges of staying at home but holy cow this was a new one to face!  I mean I have run into the little boy who pushed my son and the one that told him No this is mine, or the little girl who stole his toy but this one totally threw me off!

I am sure this is not the last playground blunder I will face but please oh please let me know how to react best for my child and myself otherwise you are all invited to the playground that I will be building in my back yard!

Parenting Fail??

I am not having the best of times with punishment for B.  Lets just say I am the bad cop in the family and I suck at it.  B is testing every limit right now and is very hyperactive.  We are not sure if the hyperactivity is a phase or something deeper but we will have to just play it by ear. 

So far in the last week he has broken a computer, a pair of 3D glasses and a lamp.  Now I know you are thinking they should really baby proof but come on a lamp on a table does not fall under we did not baby proof.  He did not throw something at it or knock it over on accident he just pulled the table down.  I was so stunned I just didn't even react.

He used to be a headbutter and biter but I thought we were out of that phase till the last few days.  Last night I ended up with 3 bites and the kid does not just bite and move on he bites like he is eating caramel and pulls off. Oh my reaction the first time it happened was not pretty.

Yes I spanked him on his diaper, Ugh how I did not want to be that mom.  And then I sat him on the chair for time out for 1 minute.  He screamed and cried through the whole ordeal seemed to get it and then I explained to him in a calm voice that he can not do that it hurts people.  A few hours later he did it again. 

I can not seem to think that his behavior is a reflection of my parenting.  I am really starting to doubt that I am any good at this or that I should be allowed to have any more children.  Even my mom said she would not want a second for me at this moment because my hands are so full with B.  I am trying all different things to see what works with him and well hoping we find a solution.

I wish this was a time I could blame hubby but with him at work all day I know this falls on to me 5 out of 7 days a week.  I think he gets right from wrong being that last night after punishing him he followed me around till I gave him a hug and told him it was ok.

I don't know if it is normal for an almost 17 month old to climb anything he can, destroy a room in a minute flat, prefer to feed the dogs instead of himself, head butt any surface (even those that make me cringe), growl, throw things.  Is this the terrible 2's? 

I mean there are many times he is sweet and cuddly and so lovely but then there are times when I think he is a gremlin and we should no longer get him wet!!! 

I just hope sooner than later I get some sort of sign or reassurance that I have not failed as a mother and that it is very normal for little boys to be hellions when they are toddlers and not grow up to be cereal killers!