The Power of 3

Some people believe that death, tragedy, distruction or whatever happen in 3's.  I happen to fall into the category believer.  I don't know if it is true but I know that when I pay attention that they do happen in 3's the same can often be said for the good things though.

This year it is most likely inevitable I will lose my father, grandfather and step grandmother.  Busy year huh.   My grandfather probably wont see the summer time my father well who knows and my step grandmother she is another who knows.  It has me both sorrow filled as well as grateful that we will have some pretty fantastic angels up there watching over us. 

My mom mentioned that old saying of God does not give us more than we can handle and I do believe that but this roller coaster of in and out of hospitals, resuscitation and the overall unknown is tiresome.  We all thought my grandpa was gone and frankly he was but they brought him back.  After I am sure a short jaunt to check on all his kids and grand kids he went back to Calif. to try and make it to 100.  Well 97 is here and he is just tired and ready and we have all assured him  he can go. 

Hubby lives in his own little world through all this.  He tries to be supportive and caring but he is so focused on getting our car back that sometimes I actually think it is more of an excuse and outlet than facing what is truly in front of us.  But I guess it is pretty hard to face that we have so many relatives knocking on heavens gates and he just walked away from a wreck that under any different circumstances should have had him there as well or at minimum injured.

Facing death is never easy but it seems that since I became a mother it is almost easier now because I get that with birth comes death and birth is fricken fantastic.  I once heard the old souls must leave to make room for the new ones and in a way that makes sense and provides comfort when you have to say goodbye to someone who has live a long fruitful life.  (dont get me started on death of young people) 

As I wonder if each phone call is one to tell me someone passed away I still try to turn to my son and enjoy the moments we are in.  I try to teach him that death is not pretty but Mommy can see the silver lining of any cloud because I can only believe that all those I know will go to heaven.

There is a church down the road very very small and every week is a new message about heaven and how wonderful it is.  How to get in and what a party and good time they are having.  "Think life is good now just wait till you get to heaven"  helped me through a pretty dark day of wondering who was next. 

I don't wish this type of year on anyone but I am not gonna lie with this season of death and change I know will come growth and good fortune of some sort.