Dirt On His Face

While many moms pride themselves on the next outfit their child wears or have closets full of the next best trend for their newborn or toddler that is just not me.  I do have some favorites and I did over buy before B arrived but as far as actually dressing my son up well it didn't happen as much as I would like to admit.

Here in FL a onesie is fantastic for the summer days and somehow the same things keep ending up on the top of the stack thus I would find many unused outfits just sitting at the bottom of the drawer as I went to rotate his sizes. I loved picking up cute things and imagining what he would look like in them I even created a persona through all his Gymboree and cute outfits.

I tend to keep him clean and seemed to constantly worry about a spot on his face or dirty fingernail because holy cow no one could know he got dirty.  Well it was really cause none of the other kids seemed to be playing in the dirt and I refused to be the one who let my son do it.  (can you tell I have self esteem issues)

I would beat myself up about his dirty finger nails.  It seemed no matter how short or how groomed he was the dirt just gravitated there.  I would be embarrassed even around family that I was not doing a good job as a mother because his nails were dirty. 

Last week the house was still in disarray and I was tired and unshowered my hair was greasy but clothes were clean!  B was in daytime clothes, jeans and a tshirt I think it was but no shoes and socks because he refuses to leave them on.  Well we needed to go to the store so do you know what I did?  We went!

Yep we went to the store ungroomed and very reflective of what our week had consisted of.  B's face was dirty, curls in a tangle, a little bit of crusty hair to the side from some recent meal, dirt under his finger nails, and I am pretty sure a spot or two on his shirt.  And in my opinion I was worse off then him.

But as I walked into the store I was greeted with the same smiles and hellos that we had been greeted with on a clean day lets say!  B got just as much attention as he always does and no one cared that I had not showered in, well, I will not tell you how long.   I didn't feel any stares or judgment and I sure as heck was waiting for that glance of disgust or shrug of I can't believe she goes out like that much less lets her son!

This is new to me, to say the least.  Where I used to live I would get stares if B's shirt was not changed after a spilled lunch out.  Running to the store in sweats was unheard of unless they were a velour track suit.  And if you dared going out with greasy hair you could feel the stares and turning up noses as you stepped out of your car.

It was nice to feel no pressure and just be me and my son in all our moving glory!  And it was reflective of our life here and our afternoons in the dirt and days of enjoying life rather than worrying about others.  While to some it is no big deal to me it was a turning point in who I am as a person and as a Mom and where we are in our life.

Finally Here

We have been at our new house a week and a half and so far so good.  While the move went smoothly the emotions have been up and down.  It is always hard to get used to a new space and town and throw in changing routines and hubbys promotion and it all just seems to blend together. 

I am so over cleaning and organizing but truth be told we still have two rooms to finish.  In the moments I want to pull my hair out I have found solace in the quietness and serenity that this house brought with it.  I now look forward to sitting down at the computer not just using the laptop as it sits in front of a window that I get to open and just breathe it all in.  The challenges have been in the yard as well as the differences between the homes. 

We have painted and cleaned and painted and cleaned just to make sure that we truly feel at home here while the days are long it was worth it on our first weekend here.  We got to go to a local festival and become part of the community.  It was a well needed reminder on why we wanted to move here in the first place. 

It is funny I keep getting told that this is no longer a small town but let me tell you compared to the suburbs of Orlando I would say we are in BFE.   One of my favorite things is the attention B gets.  We can not go anywhere without a smile or hello and that makes me feel like B will know a kinder type of humanity than the hustle and bustle that cities are well known for. 

The acreage is slightly intimidating but without a doubt has been wonderful.  We do not go a single day without heading outside and grunging it up.  I am not sure I will ever know true cleanliness again but I have enjoyed every minute of it.  B loves not having us right behind him as he runs and plays and climbs.  His face has said it all over the last week.  The smiles are plentiful and there is a contentment I have never known in him. 

We are still working through the bumps and I want to record more specifics for our memories later but for now I have to go get a little more done so we can just finally enjoy the day to day in our new home!

Throw It All In

My hubby is on second shift right now which means dinner usually gets made before he leaves and we both heat it up whenever we are ready.  I just don't feel good about me getting fresh and giving him leftovers the next day.  Anyway, the other day I realized I had 30 minutes to get dinner done and very little in the fridge.

I knew I had hamburger and everything else to make sloppy joes my mom's way as I call it with spices and tomato sauce.  As I was pouring in the sauce I remembered that hubby thought they were bland last time.  He is more  of a mamwich guy.  So I grabbed mustard, bbque sauce, some other spices and just threw them all in.  It was kind of funny but I kept tasting as I went and thought hmmm this is not half bad.  I knew I could not tell him all that was in it or he wouldn't eat it and it got me thinking about how our marriage works. 

I kind of just throw everything in and he deals.  And by deals I mean he will either help me make something amazing with it all or he will help me sort it out throw it all away and move on.  He is pretty amazing like that.  I think that this method is how we landed where we are now and how we are reaching for the stars. 

I am a throw it all in girl while he is a I will try a little here and a little there maybe wait till next time.  We balance each other out. He is also the one who will totally lie when I have thrown too much in or when frankly all that I have thrown in is crazy.  Lie might be a strong word he will fib a reaction till I look at his face and read it for exactly what he is thinking. 

Grateful for his patience and understanding is an understatement!  He will tell you that when we got together I warned him of this and many other nuances I have such as tasting his food every time he orders something different than me.  But to me warning or not he loves me and all my "throw it all in"!

Needless to say I got a call about 7:30 that night asking what was in dinner.  That he was hungry and had a sandwich and a half but can I please not make that again!  He even reminded me of that one time I thought I overspiced and didn't, this time I did!  And he so busted that there was mustard in it.  Which he does not like.  Just as I was saying sorry he had moved on to the next thing while I was still stuck wondering if it was really that bad!

So Scared

Two nights from now I will be back in bed in this house after spending the day in the new house we are moving to and I am scared to death.  Excited but scared to death.  I know I sound like a big fat baby but I never claimed to do well with change.  I have always been a runner I am good at it, what I mean, I do not dump you I just stop taking your calls, I do not quit I just don't show up, see what I mean I do not like to plan out big things.  My day yes, but big things, no.

The house we are in now is wonderful it is bigger than we need, has custom cabinets, granite counter tops, custom baths, a pool, is in the suburbs and so on but we are leaving it.  And for a home that is much different.  We are trading in the pool for 2.5 acres, switching up the floor plan, losing some of the upgrades and even saying goodbye to the suburbs.  While I am thrilled and it is a dream I am scared to death.


We did not make this decision lightly but still I wonder do we really know what we are in for.  I do, I guess, I grew up in a small town and I know it is going to be hard at first but once you are in you are in so to speak.  I wonder will I miss the pool we never used.  Or will I miss the custom tile as I am in the bathroom of the new house.  I think it is fair to expect that at times I will miss this home but the one we are moving to is just the one that is meant for us right now.


Luckily we are able to rent before we purchase the owners are even open to allowing us to rent for a few years to make sure we like the area and the home etc.  What I love most is this has been a team effort.  With this home I saw it picked it and called hubby to come see it.  He said he liked and bam we were under contract.  See being in Real Estate I am sure I saw all the inventory before I even knew we were house shopping.  This home may have us and have a little paint but none of it was done by us.  This is what is so appealing about the new house.


The new house has just enough updating to make it updated but not so much that we can't get what we want when we are ready to purchase.  I would be able to get my dream kitchen and hubby his media room and so much more.  We can get animals or even put in a pool that is in our taste and we are just so tickled about it.  I truly am thrilled to hear hubby talk about it and shop for a riding lawn mower he is more excited than I ever anticipated.

For someone who grew up with a single mom renting small homes in a mountain town in Colorado calling many laundry rooms her bedroom, yep, I said laundry rooms!  I find it quite silly that I would be wondering will I miss my granite counter tops or my stainless steel appliances!  Oh how I know we are so blessed to have a home and a roof over our head.  I am also so blessed that we are listening to the Lord and our intuition on this one and know that it is by far the best decision for so many reasons.

Doesn't make it any less scary though!

And the Bug Has Passed

It has been one long week.  In the midst of trying to figure out where we were at on our house and the potential ones we may move to not to mention New Years a terrible tummy bug hit our family.  It started with hubby at about 3 am right when I became aware of it I sanitizing! EVERYTHING!

Just as soon as I was finishing the guest bath and hoping that B did not get it I heard some banging in his crib and was relieved that he seemed fine.  Just as I was getting ready to change him the poor baby started throwing up.  Let me tell you no one prepares you for when a toddler gets sick!  I mean with a infant you can control where they are and usually where they aim etc.  But holy cow nothing is as unpredictable as a 1 year old with a tummy bug! 

Poor hubby instantly became 2nd in line for attention and healing but I think he understood, well mostly.  B did pretty well the first day but by day 2 it seemed that it had gotten Daddy worse as hubby was still in bed and B was back to climbing the walls, literally.  It was truly a test of my patience as it seemed hubs was milking it as his son could kick it and deal with it better than me.  Sure enough I was so eating my words on that thought later!  B ended up sick again that night and we thought it was over by sending Dad to the Dr for meds.

Nope!!! B ended up on the third night doing poorly.  It's like it hit again out of nowhere and this time with wrath.  The poor thing could not stop vomiting.  By this time I had left messages for our pediatrician and not heard back thus I had to go with intuition.  Something was just not right.  So to the night pediatric we headed well although there ad said open till 12am well the greeted us with smiles from behind a locked door that happened to say 11pm.  We then headed to our local hospital to be told there would be a 3 hour wait with no pediatric priority.  At this point I am in pj's carrying a 1 year old in only a tshirt and diaper and towel and in tears! Oh how hopeless I felt, no one cared that my little baby was sick.

Finally it occurred to me to head to the local Childrens Hospital and by this time I heard back from my pediatrician that said get to the hospital, DUH! Oh how I can not sing Arnold Palmer Hospital praises enough.  They had him in triage within 10 minutes or so medicated before even being seen by the Dr!  My little guy has been on the mend ever since and you know what I think I got to see a feeling good guy today.

I was so tired from the hospital that New Years Eve was non existent and consisted of hubby kissing me at midnight and me falling back asleep.  By Monday the bug I thought I had outsmarted took me down and Daddy Duty kicked in!

Here we are finally a week later on the other side and besides being proud of myself for cleaning and making it through B and Dad being sick I am proud we did it as a family unit. Sooner than later we will be living a few hours away from family and there was a part of me that was nervous that we can not call them and have them just show up whenever we need them well without a long drive atleast.  But this last week proved we are up to this challenge and ready to do it on our own, for the most part. 

We are ready to make a place our home where our kids will come back to visit one day.  It feels good knowing that we are truly ready for this challenge even if it took a HORRENDOUS stomach bug to remind us!