Dirt On His Face

While many moms pride themselves on the next outfit their child wears or have closets full of the next best trend for their newborn or toddler that is just not me.  I do have some favorites and I did over buy before B arrived but as far as actually dressing my son up well it didn't happen as much as I would like to admit.

Here in FL a onesie is fantastic for the summer days and somehow the same things keep ending up on the top of the stack thus I would find many unused outfits just sitting at the bottom of the drawer as I went to rotate his sizes. I loved picking up cute things and imagining what he would look like in them I even created a persona through all his Gymboree and cute outfits.

I tend to keep him clean and seemed to constantly worry about a spot on his face or dirty fingernail because holy cow no one could know he got dirty.  Well it was really cause none of the other kids seemed to be playing in the dirt and I refused to be the one who let my son do it.  (can you tell I have self esteem issues)

I would beat myself up about his dirty finger nails.  It seemed no matter how short or how groomed he was the dirt just gravitated there.  I would be embarrassed even around family that I was not doing a good job as a mother because his nails were dirty. 

Last week the house was still in disarray and I was tired and unshowered my hair was greasy but clothes were clean!  B was in daytime clothes, jeans and a tshirt I think it was but no shoes and socks because he refuses to leave them on.  Well we needed to go to the store so do you know what I did?  We went!

Yep we went to the store ungroomed and very reflective of what our week had consisted of.  B's face was dirty, curls in a tangle, a little bit of crusty hair to the side from some recent meal, dirt under his finger nails, and I am pretty sure a spot or two on his shirt.  And in my opinion I was worse off then him.

But as I walked into the store I was greeted with the same smiles and hellos that we had been greeted with on a clean day lets say!  B got just as much attention as he always does and no one cared that I had not showered in, well, I will not tell you how long.   I didn't feel any stares or judgment and I sure as heck was waiting for that glance of disgust or shrug of I can't believe she goes out like that much less lets her son!

This is new to me, to say the least.  Where I used to live I would get stares if B's shirt was not changed after a spilled lunch out.  Running to the store in sweats was unheard of unless they were a velour track suit.  And if you dared going out with greasy hair you could feel the stares and turning up noses as you stepped out of your car.

It was nice to feel no pressure and just be me and my son in all our moving glory!  And it was reflective of our life here and our afternoons in the dirt and days of enjoying life rather than worrying about others.  While to some it is no big deal to me it was a turning point in who I am as a person and as a Mom and where we are in our life.