Monday, April 30, 2012

Hope you will follow....

This will make no sense to some and to others who know me personally will make a ton of sense. I can now be found here http://ourfrontporchstories.wordpress.com

A while back I got on to post and found myself just writing away about my past.  I wanted a place to document things so I could print them out and save them.  Well thanks to all those English teachers saying a title matters it seemed they just did not fit here.  I also feel like I have had so many reasons to write and I would just like if there was no reason.  Does that make sense? Anyways, what felt good was that I wrote and wrote and wrote.  So some days I will post those old writing and some days the new day to day.  But what I can promise is that this time I am writing for ONLY ME.  This is a huge step in self accountability being I always wanted to write a book and then when blogging became big I wanted to be a successful blogger.  No matter how I got there. Now I just want to write and create a place where I can reminisce and remember.  So please join me on Our Front Porch.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Mind Dump

So I guess stepping away and getting life in order did me good.  I feel like I can just finally type whatever.  When I picked my title I was so worried I would have to stay within the confines of my topic but lets be real, it is my blog so who cares!

Over the last few weeks I have learned tons about myself as a sahm and just as an individual.  I can remember the days of wanting the corner office in the huge skyscraper.  I would have my name on the door and a view like no other.  For those of you who can follow think Working Girl or Secret to My Success.  Each day I am floored that I no longer dream of highrises but of birthday decorations or moms night out! 

I mean I am the CEO of our home but honestly some days nothing gets done but creating a mess and keeping B alive.  I have turned into that person who constantly wants things picked up and cleaned.  I have never ever been that person.  It drives me nuts that I am now that person almost as much as a sink full of dishes does.  Thankfully hubby could care less and thinks my job is keeping B alive but man I still feel like I should have dinner done and house clean.

Not feeling well lately has so thrown a kink in my plans!  Nap time is met with nap time or downtime with The Real Housewives and I never catch up till days later.  I hate that.  But hubby is happy if the house doesn't stink and he has clean socks.  I have been ok with the socks thing but I have to confess dude totally had to wear dirty socks last week.  No complaints though, gotta love him.

I am getting good at loading a dishwasher with a toddler unloading and I am a pro at knowing that each time I fill his snack cup I know half of it will be sprinkled throughout the house.  I hate the days that my mood or health impacts B but we are hopefully near the end of it.  Last week I think we spent more time in doors than any person should.  But he was a trooper to say the least. 

Life has taken some interesting turns over the last few years.  My corner office is now the tub on a night I need to relax and lunch dates are at the park.  I don't think in our old home this would have sufficed but where we are now I couldn't be more thrilled.

I have decided I should cut myself some slack.  There are going to be days I am super Mom and get everything done and end the day with a happy and full toddler with a clean house to boot.   And there are going to be days when the terrible twos win and I collapse in exhaustion while the house looks like a tornado hit it.  But either way its mine and I am good with it!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

It's Getting Busy

I feel like I have not sat down in months.  Really this is the first time I have opened my lap top in I don't know how long and that is not common for me at all.

Easter we went to see my Dad and family and that was weird.  I just don't know.   While he can not talk he does have communication devices but he chose not to use them with me.  Even when we informed him of new information to as simple as how was dinner. 

I enjoyed seeing my family but was reminded that put 3 sisters in the same house for the first time in a few years and there will be fighting.  I don't mean major fighting but your typical sibling arguments and disagreements.

This was truly the first time I was able to compare my parenting with my sisters.  I have seen her in the past but it was either while they are on vacation or while my son was so young that he didn't need much parenting.  We are very different and that is ok.  We found ourselves in an argument over it and our styles and expectations but I just walked away and came back later.  Although I think it affected the last 2 days of the trip I am proud I stuck up for myself.

I feel like we were go go go before the trip and now go go go after.  We have the calendar full of appts, baby showers, birthdays and on and on and on.  While I am tired and just dream of a day in my pajamas I am so grateful for what we have.

When we drove home from the airport last week I felt a peace I had not felt in months or even years.  I felt like we were back home.  Like our little town noticed we were gone and the silence of our street missed the screams and coos of a loud toddler.  I breathed a little deeper on that trip knowing that I was excited to be home excited to see our exit and excited just to get back to our new norm. 

Who new our quiet town also meant non stop friends and activity.  Don't get me wrong I am loving it but I totally think Saturday calls for pj's for at least 1/2 the day~

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Stuck

So life has been hectic to say the least.  I am finally understanding the phrase there is not enough hours in the day. I think often about blogging but then am not sure if it matters to.  I wonder at times if I should make this like a baby book type thing where I just talk about my day or if anyone cares about my day. 

I have lots to say not because I am so smart or whatever but because I like to talk.  But what I find hard about putting things out there on a blog is that the interaction is not guaranteed.  Of course you can see stats and you have to be patient with followers but lets face it I am anything but patient which may make me doomed as a blogger. 

I know friends who run successful blogs and those who do not write at all but want to and I wonder where I am in the mix.  My entire life I have been a results girl and well blogging is not a fast way to see results.  I would say it is more like a diet.  You work at it and eventually you should see some sort of results.  It may be good it may be bad. 

How does one decide what they put out there or when they put it out there when it has to do with other people. I think for me I have a few favorite blogs that I seem to dwell on and wonder why my readers aren't as high as theirs never mind they have been blogging for years. I also think at times I am scared of laying it all out for everyone to see because then that means you can also judge.

While life is busy and I don't have all the time in the world I miss coming back to this place where I can just be I can just write.  Maybe it is time to just dive back in and write whatever, whenever.  Surely I can not be the first blogger that wonders is anyone reading does anyone even care if I stop writing.