Mind Dump

So I guess stepping away and getting life in order did me good.  I feel like I can just finally type whatever.  When I picked my title I was so worried I would have to stay within the confines of my topic but lets be real, it is my blog so who cares!

Over the last few weeks I have learned tons about myself as a sahm and just as an individual.  I can remember the days of wanting the corner office in the huge skyscraper.  I would have my name on the door and a view like no other.  For those of you who can follow think Working Girl or Secret to My Success.  Each day I am floored that I no longer dream of highrises but of birthday decorations or moms night out! 

I mean I am the CEO of our home but honestly some days nothing gets done but creating a mess and keeping B alive.  I have turned into that person who constantly wants things picked up and cleaned.  I have never ever been that person.  It drives me nuts that I am now that person almost as much as a sink full of dishes does.  Thankfully hubby could care less and thinks my job is keeping B alive but man I still feel like I should have dinner done and house clean.

Not feeling well lately has so thrown a kink in my plans!  Nap time is met with nap time or downtime with The Real Housewives and I never catch up till days later.  I hate that.  But hubby is happy if the house doesn't stink and he has clean socks.  I have been ok with the socks thing but I have to confess dude totally had to wear dirty socks last week.  No complaints though, gotta love him.

I am getting good at loading a dishwasher with a toddler unloading and I am a pro at knowing that each time I fill his snack cup I know half of it will be sprinkled throughout the house.  I hate the days that my mood or health impacts B but we are hopefully near the end of it.  Last week I think we spent more time in doors than any person should.  But he was a trooper to say the least. 

Life has taken some interesting turns over the last few years.  My corner office is now the tub on a night I need to relax and lunch dates are at the park.  I don't think in our old home this would have sufficed but where we are now I couldn't be more thrilled.

I have decided I should cut myself some slack.  There are going to be days I am super Mom and get everything done and end the day with a happy and full toddler with a clean house to boot.   And there are going to be days when the terrible twos win and I collapse in exhaustion while the house looks like a tornado hit it.  But either way its mine and I am good with it!