This week my sister got a great promotion with such promotion it means she is probably headed to the opposite coast this Spring. While I am happy for her I found myself choked up and teary that she will be leaving. It is not that I see her all the time and that we are sooo close but frankly the idea of her being just a drive away was always comforting. Now she will be 3 hours behind and one heck of a plane ride with a one year old. It is weird to think that she is going back to where she sees as home just as I am finding home here in FL. We were all born in California but to me I never thought of it as home it was just where Grandma and Grandpa lived and at one point my Dad.
My Mom mentioned the other day that this may be the last Christmas we can all get together as we are all really following our dreams and hearts right now and fulfilling dreams. My other sister had intended on coming in for Christmas but in the last minute they have decided to stay home and have a family Christmas with their kids and make special memories of their own. I totally get this but have to admit that for the first time in a while I am reminded that I am an adult and we all have our own families and wants and needs.
I look back on our holiday traditions with a happy heart. There were days of John Denver and the muppets singing carols, nights of performing the night before Christmas, giggles of glee waiting to attend midnight mass and of course new jammies on Christmas Eve. While the traditions grew and changed over the years with age, divorce, and life we still seemed to have little things that drew us together.
Tonight while cuddling B before bed he fell asleep on me for the first time in a long time and I just laid there and breathed him in. When I was first pregnant with him I only wanted one child but over the past few months my mind and heart have changed and tonight I was reminded of how much I wanted him to have siblings. I thought about the giggles over waiting for Santa and the smiles as him and a sibling shook their presents under the tree. I let my mind wander to the days of him and a sibling putting on a holiday show for the family or the race to see who gets to the tree first. The moments of getting dressed up to go to Christmas service just seem like they would be more complete with more than just B.
While I knew my sister dreamed of heading back to the west coast I am not sure I ever thought it would happen. But that is the funny thing about dreams they are goals some attainable and some not. I realized that mine are changing just as hers are.
So here I am most likely saying goodbye to my sibling accept for the occasional visit while I am praying that we can give B a sibling to grow up with~full circle.
That's tough. I have five siblings and we all live in the Los Angeles area. My one sister who moved away to Florida has now returned with her family and lives less than 15 minutes away. My sister moved to NY for 4 years to go to NYU but now she's back. My other sister got a huge promotion that took her to Mexico City for 3 years, but now she's back. So it all comes full circle. We branch out to follow our dreams and then our family always brings us back home. Be encouraged.
ReplyDeleteHow great to catch up with you again!! I love your new blog!! Thanks for commenting on my blog so I knew where you were!
ReplyDeleteIt can be so hard as families change and grow. Right now I have my family fairly close by but there have been years where we have been apart. I think it's a strange feeling to know that my family is the one I have with my husband and kids.
I totally remember the John Denver album with the muppets!! We had it on 8 track and would play it over and over again!! So great to find you again!! Are you going to get back involved with voiceBoks. We would love to have you there, you were such a great asset!! Take care friend!!
It is tough being away from your sibling, but it just makes visits that much more special. B wants LOTS of siblings so get busy. :)
ReplyDeleteWe live a couple of hours from all of our family and our siblings. I miss the traditions and the closeness and I hate it that it's going away when we're growing up. But I'm hoping that once we all have kids and are in the same "place" again, we will feel closer again. I hope that some day Peanut will feel as close to her future sibling.
ReplyDeleteMy sister lives in Denver, I'm in St Louis and my parents are about 2 hours away and it's definitely changing the dynamic of Christmas. We love spending Christmas with our families yet still trying to do our own thing with just myself, Mac and Sullivan. It's hard realizing it's going to change.
ReplyDeleteWe are 18 hours from my cousins whom I am closest with. I cannot imagine a sibling being that far away either. I am not close with my siblings. I am sorry she is moving, just the times of our lives!
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