We have so much going on that it seems "us" is taking a back seat to everything else. I did not realize it till I could not answer if someone asked me the last time I kissed my husband. I know he feels just as disconnected as me but never complains.
I know moving is stressful and while we have one house under contract and we are living in another it feels like we are straddling two lives. I know we are blessed that our house is under contract and for that I am thankful but I can not wait till closing and the day we get to just concentrate on the here and now.
Yesterday was the first day I felt like I had a normal life of just playing with B, taking care of chores and just living. Rather than unpacking, calling this utility or that, turning this on and that off or whatever. I have been happy and loving the area but just ready to live here.
Hubby is stressed too. He finally was able to talk about it this weekend. With work causing stresses and the other house I think he is a typical male in his want to just fix and finish things. He is so laid back and quiet that when he breaks it takes alot.
I know we are not the only couple going through things and I know that moving anywhere is a huge stress but I forgot how much my marriage could get lost in the hustle and bustle. I have decided I was going to be conscious of some things till a little more is off our plates.
I am a yeller so that is something I am working on. I think I yell because I have such a high voice that I seem to think the only way to get through to people or sound stern is by yelling. I am also trying to let go in the morning. He always cuts it close to make it to work on time and holy cow does it drive me NUTS! But I am purposely not saying anything as frankly it does nothing for the situation at the time.
I think I could also make an effort to cuddle and connect as we get through this period of transition. He seems to be doing the same thing with me he is asking if he needs to take a day off to help me or if he can do anything else in regards to my chores.
It is hard to write all this and document all this but frankly I read many blogs and I think a lot of them do not touch on the difficulty of marriage. I know it can be a privacy issue but for me it is an issue of knowing I am not alone in the moments that it feels like I am. The moments where I stare out the window and think I am sure the couple across the street didn't disconnect when they moved in, its us only us!
I heard the other day that men need to be told exactly what you are feeling, thinking or what you want them to do. I think that is true being that it was not till I stopped snapping and started talking that we were able to communicate and figure out that we needed to support each other through all of this.
Marriage has never been easy and I am sure it never will be. But even though we are worlds apart right now I am glad we are both seeing the errors in our ways and that we miss each other. Disconnect is probably one emotion I would rather not feel. At the same time I am thankful for the reminder that I am not alone in all this.
Amen sistah! Marriage is tough sometimes, especially when you're so stressed out anyways. I've been in a similar situation recently and as easy as it was to get to that low point, it's hard to get back to where you want to be. It's great that he's on the same page as you, that's key to fixing things. You are definitely not alone and I'm sending good thoughts your way! Hang in there!
ReplyDelete