Oddly OK

So today is a weird day.  My hubby becomes or became a biological uncle.  While most people would be celebrating, heading to the hospital or waiting on the picture of the little one to be sent around we are not.  It is weird I guess I never thought about the dynamics of if a family did not get along. 

This battle has been a tough one. At first I pushed my hubby to try and have a relationship with his brother and that never seemed to work.  Then I decided I would make an effort and form one with him.  And just as that happened he met a girl who to me could not handle him having a friend in his sister in law. 

Since she entered the picture the family drama has increased and our interaction with them has decreased.  The relationship with all of us is non existent.  After months of ups and downs and slung words and back stabbing I must say I am actually kind of relieved we have moved on.

I am not going to lie I am curious about our niece and would love to say I am happy for them but it is just so clouded with their behavior.  And we know it is best that we not even attempt contact as they are bringing a new born home to hubbys grandparents who are in their 80's with health problems, can not even take care of themselves and need help from the family.  We are irate about this and so is the rest of the family but everyone is walking on egg shells with them as notice I said girlfriend not wife.  (enough said in their concerns of pissing her off and she leaving with the baby)

Hubby is doing really well with all of this.  I think what he misses most is that they do have a younger brother and that brother used to be very close with us but because we disagree with things he does and some of his behavior he has chose to lean to Kevin more than my hubby.  We get this as he is 19 and can only hope that he will one day want to be part of our lives again.

What made me realize there is little hope of reconciliation in the near future was when I asked did he want to send flowers or anything to them and he said No.  See recently  I had a friend give birth, she is someone I had a falling out with you could say.  I had known her a long time but hubby has known her family for 20+ years.  When she went into labor and we heard the news we immediately sent flowers.  We wanted them to know we were happy for them and they were in our prayers.  But when hubby said no to sending his brother something I realized we all choose where we want to put effort.

And right now we are not putting our effort towards them.  I think we are at the point of we wish them the best have a good one versus being angry and vile.  I like this space and I think that hubby does too.  I know many of you are shaking your head thinking blood is thicker than any thing else and family should be our priority but our immediate family is.  And our friends make up our family.  I think we finally get that.

We have faith in the path we are on and the trials and tribulations we face.  With that said we know that sometimes two people just don't see eye to eye or allow their significant others to run the show.  We also know that add in a mother that is biased and shows favoritism and  the mess gets a lot worse.

So cheers and good health to them.  But a pat on the back to us for realizing we are not in control of anyone but ourselves and we are happy where we are at with all of this.